7:09 Pedroia singles. There goes the perfect game for Sir Sidney.
7:12 Of all the little things that grounds crews have been accused of over the years of doing to favor the home team, I’ve never heard anyone being accused of timing the ads that appear on the wall behind home plate so that ads that are white, which makes the ball hard to see for fielders, show up when the home team is batting. Probably because they don’t do it. But it’d be a good idea.
7:14 Youkilis strikes out. Not that they did it for him in Yankee Stadium, but Youkilis batting reminds me how sick I am of fans who make a big deal out of guys whose names have a sound that rhymes with “boo”, like “Youk”. I think fans think they’re being really ironic when they yell these names. “Yooooouuuukk! Get it! It sounds like we’re booing, but we’re not! If you don’t know that, you’re not a real fan! Yooouuukk!” It’s the same with two guys named “Moose”: Mooooose (Mussina) and Mooooose (Daryl Johnston of the mid-90s Cowboys), among others. The only time I thought this was okay was when I didn’t know any better because I was 7 and Bills fans chanted “Bruuuuuuuce” for Bruce Smith. It only took the maturation level, however, of being 8 or possibly 9 at the oldest when I realized that this is dumb.
7:17 Sidney has allowed two in two thirds of an inning. Sounds about right.
7:18 Steve and Dave are talking about how today’s games are the last ones in MLB without replay, as replay begins tomorrow. I repeat: you cannot change rules in the middle of a season! Wait until next year!
7:20 Steve just said that Jon Lester “has become the ace” of the Red Sox staff. Not true. Josh Beckett and Dice-K have fallen so ungracefully that Lester has had no choice but to assume the “ace” role, if he even has.
7:21 Great assist to Pudge by Abreu to end the inning. We’ll miss his occasionally accurate arm next season.
7:26 Warren Spahn strikes out Damon with a pitch on the corne-...Sorry, I mean Paul Byrd’s windup strikes out Damon with a pitch on the corner. Bonus: Spahn was born in Buffalo.
7:28 Arkansas Megan is blogging the game as well. I have a sick feeling hers is going to be more entertaining than mine.
7:30 They just showed Mark Kotsay in the Boston dugout, as they just traded for him. Kotsay, of course, was at one time a brilliant acquisition by brilliant Money Ball manager Billy Beane, who has brilliantly managed his way to zero World Series appearances.
7:31 A-Rod scores Abreu from first. Suddenly the fans love him again. Hmm. 9 more years of this.
7:36 Every time I announce that I need more shaving cream, Arkansas Megan asks if I’m going to get the new kind whose commercial has hundreds of microscopic girls in tight jumpsuits and jet packs flying into the guy’s nose. Do women think that this is a popular male fantasy?
7:39 I would be more hesitant to take a shot of this garlic sauce that came with our pizza than I would be of taking a shot of the rattiest moonshine in West Virginia.
7:40 Sir Sidney fooled Ellsbury with two nice curveballs. Ellsbury has leveled out statistically to become a satisfyingly average player with above average speed.
7:47 The Phillies are currently beating Johan Santana 2-1. The Mets absolutely positively need to win that game. Just ask Matt J. If you want his head to spin around like the Exorcist girl’s. Especially now that O’Brien is reliving the Mets’ finish to last season. I happen to know that Matt J is not watching this broadcast; it’s probably for the best.
7:55 Steve Phillips proclaims to Peter Gammons that the most important player in the history of the Boston Red Sox is…Jason Varitek. I’m not even sure what to say.
7:57 Gammons is trying to clean up Phillips’ mess. It’s been roughly 10 minutes since anyone mentioned anything about what’s happening on the field.
8:02 There’s a reason Peter Gammons is a famous writer: because he’s a lousy TV announcer. Get him out of the booth.
8:04 Now they’re talking about Curt Schilling, who, I don’t have to remind you, has not thrown a single inning this season. He’s not even there. Is he even on the team? Let’s talk about Ruben Sierra!
8:11 The Most Important Player in Red Sox History flew out to center. Unrelated: I think Steve Phillips is drunk. Or he has a huge crush on Gammons who is STILL IN THE BOOTH. The game has become a sideshow. I would take Michael Kay, Al Leiter, and John Flaherty over these goobers any day. And I don’t think Dave O’Brien is that horrible!
8:15 Steve Phillips says that in his mind Maris’ 61 homers is still the single season record. I suppose Steve Phillips also thinks that Steve Phillips is a successful major league manager, too.
8:16 Footage of Roger Maris’ 61st homer. Rounding the bases, his head was down and he wasn’t sprinting, but he wasn’t prancing either. Modern players claim to idolize guys like Maris. Why don’t they try to emulate them?
8:27 Cano brings A-Rod around on a single, tie game. Steve Phillips declares that the Yankees need “more things like that” (RBIs) in order to “turn this thing around.” Invaluable insight from the Skipper. Madden-esque.
8:28 Pudge flies out to end the inning. He has one homer and is hitting something right around the Mendoza line since joining the Yankees. In the past several years, supposedly talented veterans such as Pudge who have joined the Yankees have this look about them that says “I used to be an All-Star, but I’ve come here to falter.” Pudge has perfected this look, and he has faltered. Randy Johnson did this pretty effectively as well.
8:40 Ponson has thrown 7 straight balls, putting Youkilis at 3-0 with the bases loaded. This does not have postseason push written all over it.
8:41 Full count.
8:41 Ellsbury is walked in. Turning point of the game?
8:43 Jason Bay sac flies to right. 4-2, Boston. I can’t wait for the first Bills game.
8:43 Arkansas Megan, who has abandoned her blog for a comfy spot on the couch, notes how sad it is that the Yankees fans don’t applaud for Ponson as he leaves the game. I have to agree.
8:53 Jeter lines out. It’s ok, he’s so dreamy.
8:56 A-Rod at bat. A-Rod swings real hard. Ball soars to centerfield. Crowd gets very excited; they obviously don’t know that Coco Crisp can see where the ball is going much better than they can, as he steps under the pop fly to make the catch. Why do fans insist on ignoring the movements of the guys who are paid millions of dollars to catch the ball? They know where it’s going and watching them will help you look like not a doofus.
9:17 I really enjoy watching Pedroia play. I think he’s the Red Sox’ Jeter. He’s a great hitter who has become a leader very early in his career. He’s a relentless fielder. He’s a team guy. I’ve heard interviews with him and he seems like a good person. He beats out every hit and puts his head down when he homers. You never hear him say anything dumb (well, dumb in the sense of deconstructive to the team; all athletes are pre-programmed to say unintelligent things). He just struck out, but he did it while swinging so hard that he almost knocked himself over, which is another reason I delight in watching him. He also provides some minor unintentional comic relief because he looks like he’s about 17, then immediately ages about 25 years when he takes his helmet off.
9:25 Understandably, the announcers won’t shut up about it being the last year at Yankee Stadium. It reminds of a website, which I will not link to, that is a petition to keep the Stadium standing. Not as the home of the Yankees, mind you, but as a minor league complex, or as a museum, or even a shopping mall (I’m not kidding). This petition claims that “The Stadium is a national treasure, a part of our country’s history.” Look, there is ten tons of history there, but baseball history. Yes, ok, non-baseball events include: Louis vs. Schmeling, Zale vs. Rocky, Colts vs. Giants in “the greatest game ever played”, a few papal visits, the 1946 Army-Notre Dame (the Game of the Century), the win one for the Gipper game, and some concerts. And other things, I’m sure. But let’s not get carried away here. It is not critical to our nation’s history that the Stadium remains. Battlefields, monuments to great men, Yankee Stadium? Not so sure about that. The Polo Grounds was torn down and its legend probably looms larger than if it hadn’t been torn down. Let the Stadium go. Its legend will only grow.
9:32 Delcarmen lays down the Yanks in order to end the 7th, still 4-2 Sox.
9:37 Paraphrasing Phillips: “Bay is actually having a pretty good year. He’s actually a pretty good player but you’d never know it before now because he’s been in Pittsburgh!” Take a closer look at the hand that feeds you, Steve, for your answer.
9:46 Bases loaded, no outs. I’m not even nervous. Just waiting.
9:47 Sac fly. 6-2, Boston.
9:49 7-2 Sox on a Crisp single. It may be bedtime.
9:56 Red Sox have batted around. Papi just did something good after some other guys did some good things since I last updated. Oh, Pedroia knocked a grand salami. 11-2, Boston. 1 out, by the way.
9:57 McCain has reportedly picked his running mate, and will make the announcement on Friday at 11 am, presumably timed to take the wind out of Obama’s sails after his speech on Thursday night. Hopefully a post on this topic will write itself tomorrow.
10:00 Youkilis hit the ball and a Yankees player caught the ball before it hit the ground. I don’t remember what that means.
10:03 From the east coast! To the west coast! This is oooouuuurrrr cooouuunnttrryy!
10:06 Mike Timlin wears one of those little ropes around his neck. I never understood that trend. I don’t understand many trends, in fact. I’m not very trendy. Don’t listen to me.
10:08 Yankees haven’t had a hit since Sunday. I mean the 5th inning. You can stick a fork in the fat lady, the party’s over. Or however that saying goes.
10:10 I enjoy Old Spice commercials. The centaur in the shower, and the Doogie Howser bits. Pretty funny. I’d link to them if I could for just a second rip my eyes away from these wet noodles parading around in pinstripes.
10:14 On to the bottom of the ninth. Time for a ten run rally. The giant plush turtle I won at an amusement park is sitting on his head in place of a rally cap.
10:17 Tonight’s game was sold out with 55,027 in attendance. Last night it was sold out with 55,058 in attendance. What do you call a sold out game that 5% of the ticket-holders don't go to?
10:18 The 42 people left in the stands watch Giambi hit a meaningless home run. The nearest fan is still running to go get the ball, because he was 17 sections away. He was the closest one to the ball.
10:19 Nady with a nice base hit to left. This is nonsense.
10:20 Matsui singles to right. Timing is everything.
10:23 Double play to end the game. This game was a microcosm of the Yankees’ season: shaky starting pitching, underachieving offense, ending on a double play. Boston will play its last ever game at the Stadium tomorrow. Maybe we’ll have a disputed, replayed home run to make it interesting. Actual meaningless, non-binding prediction: Yankees pound it out and win easily with Moooooooooose on the mound. I don’t think they lose their last game against the Red Sox at the Stadium to get swept.
1 comment:
I shouldn't have deleted my blog. dammit.
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