Red Sox @ Yankees - Blogging the Game

7:06 Paul Byrd against Sidney Ponson. A showdown of veritable pitching giants. Something tells me that on Opening Day, this is not how these two teams thought today’s game would begin. Just as importantly, we are joined - nay, lead fearlessly - by Stevie Phillips and Dave O’Brien.

7:09 Pedroia singles. There goes the perfect game for Sir Sidney.

7:12 Of all the little things that grounds crews have been accused of over the years of doing to favor the home team, I’ve never heard anyone being accused of timing the ads that appear on the wall behind home plate so that ads that are white, which makes the ball hard to see for fielders, show up when the home team is batting. Probably because they don’t do it. But it’d be a good idea.

7:14 Youkilis strikes out. Not that they did it for him in Yankee Stadium, but Youkilis batting reminds me how sick I am of fans who make a big deal out of guys whose names have a sound that rhymes with “boo”, like “Youk”. I think fans think they’re being really ironic when they yell these names. “Yooooouuuukk! Get it! It sounds like we’re booing, but we’re not! If you don’t know that, you’re not a real fan! Yooouuukk!” It’s the same with two guys named “Moose”: Mooooose (Mussina) and Mooooose (Daryl Johnston of the mid-90s Cowboys), among others. The only time I thought this was okay was when I didn’t know any better because I was 7 and Bills fans chanted “Bruuuuuuuce” for Bruce Smith. It only took the maturation level, however, of being 8 or possibly 9 at the oldest when I realized that this is dumb.

7:17 Sidney has allowed two in two thirds of an inning. Sounds about right.

7:18 Steve and Dave are talking about how today’s games are the last ones in MLB without replay, as replay begins tomorrow. I repeat: you cannot change rules in the middle of a season! Wait until next year!

7:20 Steve just said that Jon Lester “has become the ace” of the Red Sox staff. Not true. Josh Beckett and Dice-K have fallen so ungracefully that Lester has had no choice but to assume the “ace” role, if he even has.

7:21 Great assist to Pudge by Abreu to end the inning. We’ll miss his occasionally accurate arm next season.

7:26 Warren Spahn strikes out Damon with a pitch on the corne-...Sorry, I mean Paul Byrd’s windup strikes out Damon with a pitch on the corner. Bonus: Spahn was born in Buffalo.

7:28 Arkansas Megan is blogging the game as well. I have a sick feeling hers is going to be more entertaining than mine.

7:30 They just showed Mark Kotsay in the Boston dugout, as they just traded for him. Kotsay, of course, was at one time a brilliant acquisition by brilliant Money Ball manager Billy Beane, who has brilliantly managed his way to zero World Series appearances.

7:31 A-Rod scores Abreu from first. Suddenly the fans love him again. Hmm. 9 more years of this.

7:36 Every time I announce that I need more shaving cream, Arkansas Megan asks if I’m going to get the new kind whose commercial has hundreds of microscopic girls in tight jumpsuits and jet packs flying into the guy’s nose. Do women think that this is a popular male fantasy?

7:39 I would be more hesitant to take a shot of this garlic sauce that came with our pizza than I would be of taking a shot of the rattiest moonshine in West Virginia.

7:40 Sir Sidney fooled Ellsbury with two nice curveballs. Ellsbury has leveled out statistically to become a satisfyingly average player with above average speed.

7:47 The Phillies are currently beating Johan Santana 2-1. The Mets absolutely positively need to win that game. Just ask Matt J. If you want his head to spin around like the Exorcist girl’s. Especially now that O’Brien is reliving the Mets’ finish to last season. I happen to know that Matt J is not watching this broadcast; it’s probably for the best.

7:55 Steve Phillips proclaims to Peter Gammons that the most important player in the history of the Boston Red Sox is…Jason Varitek. I’m not even sure what to say.

7:57 Gammons is trying to clean up Phillips’ mess. It’s been roughly 10 minutes since anyone mentioned anything about what’s happening on the field.

8:02 There’s a reason Peter Gammons is a famous writer: because he’s a lousy TV announcer. Get him out of the booth.

8:04 Now they’re talking about Curt Schilling, who, I don’t have to remind you, has not thrown a single inning this season. He’s not even there. Is he even on the team? Let’s talk about Ruben Sierra!

8:11 The Most Important Player in Red Sox History flew out to center. Unrelated: I think Steve Phillips is drunk. Or he has a huge crush on Gammons who is STILL IN THE BOOTH. The game has become a sideshow. I would take Michael Kay, Al Leiter, and John Flaherty over these goobers any day. And I don’t think Dave O’Brien is that horrible!

8:15 Steve Phillips says that in his mind Maris’ 61 homers is still the single season record. I suppose Steve Phillips also thinks that Steve Phillips is a successful major league manager, too.

8:16 Footage of Roger Maris’ 61^st homer. Rounding the bases, his head was down and he wasn’t sprinting, but he wasn’t prancing either. Modern players claim to idolize guys like Maris. Why don’t they try to emulate them?

8:27 Cano brings A-Rod around on a single, tie game. Steve Phillips declares that the Yankees need “more things like that” (RBIs) in order to “turn this thing around.” Invaluable insight from the Skipper. Madden-esque.

8:28 Pudge flies out to end the inning. He has one homer and is hitting something right around the Mendoza line since joining the Yankees. In the past several years, supposedly talented veterans such as Pudge who have joined the Yankees have this look about them that says “I used to be an All-Star, but I’ve come here to falter.” Pudge has perfected this look, and he has faltered. Randy Johnson did this pretty effectively as well.

8:40 Ponson has thrown 7 straight balls, putting Youkilis at 3-0 with the bases loaded. This does not have postseason push written all over it.

8:41 Full count.

8:41 Ellsbury is walked in. Turning point of the game?

8:43 Jason Bay sac flies to right. 4-2, Boston. I can’t wait for the first Bills game.

8:43 Arkansas Megan, who has abandoned her blog for a comfy spot on the couch, notes how sad it is that the Yankees fans don’t applaud for Ponson as he leaves the game. I have to agree.

8:53 Jeter lines out. It’s ok, he’s so dreamy.

8:56 A-Rod at bat. A-Rod swings real hard. Ball soars to centerfield. Crowd gets very excited; they obviously don’t know that Coco Crisp can see where the ball is going much better than they can, as he steps under the pop fly to make the catch. Why do fans insist on ignoring the movements of the guys who are paid millions of dollars to catch the ball? They know where it’s going and watching them will help you look like not a doofus.

9:17 I really enjoy watching Pedroia play. I think he’s the Red Sox’ Jeter. He’s a great hitter who has become a leader very early in his career. He’s a relentless fielder. He’s a team guy. I’ve heard interviews with him and he seems like a good person. He beats out every hit and puts his head down when he homers. You never hear him say anything dumb (well, dumb in the sense of deconstructive to the team; all athletes are pre-programmed to say unintelligent things). He just struck out, but he did it while swinging so hard that he almost knocked himself over, which is another reason I delight in watching him. He also provides some minor unintentional comic relief because he looks like he’s about 17, then immediately ages about 25 years when he takes his helmet off.

9:25 Understandably, the announcers won’t shut up about it being the last year at Yankee Stadium. It reminds of a website, which I will not link to, that is a petition to keep the Stadium standing. Not as the home of the Yankees, mind you, but as a minor league complex, or as a museum, or even a shopping mall (I’m not kidding). This petition claims that “The Stadium is a national treasure, a part of our country’s history.” Look, there is ten tons of history there, but baseball history. Yes, ok, non-baseball events include: Louis vs. Schmeling, Zale vs. Rocky, Colts vs. Giants in “the greatest game ever played”, a few papal visits, the 1946 Army-Notre Dame (the Game of the Century), the win one for the Gipper game, and some concerts. And other things, I’m sure. But let’s not get carried away here. It is not critical to our nation’s history that the Stadium remains. Battlefields, monuments to great men, Yankee Stadium? Not so sure about that. The Polo Grounds was torn down and its legend probably looms larger than if it hadn’t been torn down. Let the Stadium go. Its legend will only grow.

9:32 Delcarmen lays down the Yanks in order to end the 7^th, still 4-2 Sox.

9:37 Paraphrasing Phillips: “Bay is actually having a pretty good year. He’s actually a pretty good player but you’d never know it before now because he’s been in Pittsburgh!” Take a closer look at the hand that feeds you, Steve, for your answer.

9:46 Bases loaded, no outs. I’m not even nervous. Just waiting.

9:47 Sac fly. 6-2, Boston.

9:49 7-2 Sox on a Crisp single. It may be bedtime.

9:56 Red Sox have batted around. Papi just did something good after some other guys did some good things since I last updated. Oh, Pedroia knocked a grand salami. 11-2, Boston. 1 out, by the way.

9:57 McCain has reportedly picked his running mate, and will make the announcement on Friday at 11 am, presumably timed to take the wind out of Obama’s sails after his speech on Thursday night. Hopefully a post on this topic will write itself tomorrow.

10:00 Youkilis hit the ball and a Yankees player caught the ball before it hit the ground. I don’t remember what that means.

10:03 From the east coast! To the west coast! This is oooouuuurrrr cooouuunnttrryy!

10:06 Mike Timlin wears one of those little ropes around his neck. I never understood that trend. I don’t understand many trends, in fact. I’m not very trendy. Don’t listen to me.

10:08 Yankees haven’t had a hit since Sunday. I mean the 5^th inning. You can stick a fork in the fat lady, the party’s over. Or however that saying goes.

10:10 I enjoy Old Spice commercials. The centaur in the shower, and the Doogie Howser bits. Pretty funny. I’d link to them if I could for just a second rip my eyes away from these wet noodles parading around in pinstripes.

10:14 On to the bottom of the ninth. Time for a ten run rally. The giant plush turtle I won at an amusement park is sitting on his head in place of a rally cap.

10:17 Tonight’s game was sold out with 55,027 in attendance. Last night it was sold out with 55,058 in attendance. What do you call a sold out game that 5% of the ticket-holders don't go to?

10:18 The 42 people left in the stands watch Giambi hit a meaningless home run. The nearest fan is still running to go get the ball, because he was 17 sections away. He was the closest one to the ball.

10:19 Nady with a nice base hit to left. This is nonsense.

10:20 Matsui singles to right. Timing is everything.

10:23 Double play to end the game. This game was a microcosm of the Yankees’ season: shaky starting pitching, underachieving offense, ending on a double play. Boston will play its last ever game at the Stadium tomorrow. Maybe we’ll have a disputed, replayed home run to make it interesting. Actual meaningless, non-binding prediction: Yankees pound it out and win easily with Moooooooooose on the mound. I don’t think they lose their last game against the Red Sox at the Stadium to get swept.

Blue Jays @ Yankees (Joba starts)

7:20 My mlb.tv is all messed up on the desktop, so I can’t watch the game on the TV, so I’m on the laptop. I tuned just in time for the first pitch, and since then it hasn’t gone so great. Joba walked the leadoff on a full count and his since given up a run. At the moment there are two outs with a man on first, Blue Jays up 1-0. He’s already thrown 24 of his 70 pitches. Not a good start.

7:23 3-1 to Matt Stairs. This 70 pitch limit in itself isn’t what’s absurd, it’s the fact that everyone knows it, including the Blue Jays. Is anyone in the world surprised that their hitters are laying off everything, trying to push Joba to 70 by the second inning? Granted he has to throw strikes to get them to not do that, like any starter does, but it’s ridiculous to tell the other team how many pitches you are allowing your starter.

7:27 Another walk, his third. I don’t want to say that I know he’s nervous or uncomfortable, but he’s not locating.

7:27 They’re calling the pen. This could be a very short blog post. Although, Dan Geise is warming up in the pen, who just got called up and will be interesting to watch too, especially in what will be a long relief role.

7:29 K to end the inning on 99 mph heat. According to the hype, the first three batters were supposed to go down that way, on 9 total pitches for the inning. I, naturally, am let down.

7:31 Damon with a leadoff triple. He’s been on a tear lately. I don’t have the numbers because I’m trying to squeeze in dinner in between tops of innings, but I’ll get them later. (Michael Kay just mentioned in a very timely manner that Damon is on a 12 game hitting streak. Thanks, Mike.)

7:34 Jeter hits a slow roller to third. 0-1 with RISP tonight for the Yank. If I made this a drinking game I would get so loaded. Not just tonight, but every game. Last night they were 3-16

7:35 Joba on the bench in a hoodie. He’ll be back in the second. He looks like a basset hound.

7:38 Halladay hit A-Rod with a curveball. He doesn’t seem like the guy who would hit someone on purpose. I don’t mean that in a “He wouldn’t protect his guys” kind of way, but just in a “He seems too efficient” kind of way.

7:39 Matsui singles in Damon. 1-3 RISP. He’s been on fire too. Also no numbers for him at the moment.

7:40 Giambi singles in A-Rod, 2-1 Yankees, 2-4 with RISP. Alright!

7:41 Cano ends the inning. Let’s see how Joba does with a lead that’s not in the 8^th inning. They say he has great mound presence and everything, but I can’t imagine the amount of pressure he’s feeling right now.

7:47 Two away after a flyout and a strikeout. He seems to have calmed down. He also seemed to have controlled his emotions a little after the strikeout. This at bat represents the first time he’s faced the same batter twice in the same outing, and the first time he’s pitched more than 40 pitches in one outing. He’s at 54.

7:48 Flyout, 1-2-3 second for Joba. I wonder what it’s like to get hit by a 99 mph fastball.

7:53 I hate sideline reporters.

7:55 Damon doubles as the sideline reporter airhead interviews Joba’s dad. What a waste of time and attention those interviews are.

7:58 Jeter flies out. He’s 0-2 with RISP.

8:04 The Jays waited Joba out and he’s out in the third. Dan Geise makes his debut in a minute.

8:16 Bottom third, 2-2. Geise looked alright. Quick delivery.

8:19 Matsui goes the other way, so he’s 2-2. He is pretty consistent but always manages to stay under the radar. I wonder why.

8:20 Giambi and some of the guys started growing moustaches a week or so ago, and since Giambi started hitting better, he decided to keep the stache. He looks pretty ridiculous.

8:22 It’s not David Eckstein’s fault that he’s on my crap list, I suppose, it’s baseball announcers and writers from a few years ago who labeled him as “scrappy.” I think this is a stupid description. It’s supposed to mean it’s someone who plays hard, usually is pretty good on defense, hits lots of singles (or so it seems, anyway), maybe they steal some bases. It for some reason gives me the impression that the person falls down a lot while they field or run. The reason why it’s silly is because it always seems to describe someone who is short or skinny. In other words, it’s a skinny guy who plays hard. Why don’t we just say that they play hard? “Scrappy” is discriminatory and I won’t stand for it.

8:29 Eckstein is up to bat now, and Michael Kay just said “He doesn’t look like a great player, he doesn’t have great skills, but he was a World Series MVP.” How can those both be true? You can’t be in baseball if you “just try hard”, which is what announcers seem to say about “scrappy” Eckstein. He is clearly a good player to be in the majors, obviously to win a World Series MVP.

8:33 Al Leiter doesn’t know the difference between “less” and “fewer”.

8:35 I just realized that there’s only one out in the top of the 4^th, and the game is already an hour and a half old. So much for a reasonable bedtime tonight. Damn patient hitters. More importantly, this half inning has gone on for so long I haven’t been able to refresh my refreshments since the last commercial break, long, long ago.

Post game The game got out of hand when the Yankees bullpen came in the game. Geise took the loss, giving up one. Veras gave up two and Ramirez gave up four as the Yanks fell 9-3.

Even though he didn't pitch last night, I think this is appropriate to post. From ESPN's Page 2:

Ten things that make Yankee fans nervous:

1. Kyle Farnsworth entering in a tie game in the eighth inning.
2. Kyle Farnsworth entering with a one-run lead in the eighth inning.
3. Kyle Farnsworth entering with a two-run lead in the eighth inning.
4. Joe Girardi saying that he's not "afraid to use [Farnsworth] at any time."
5. Girardi saying "Farnsy has thrown the ball very well for us all year long, and you're probably going to see Farnsy in that situation a lot."
6. Kyle Farnsworth warming up in the bullpen.
7. Kyle Farnsworth walking out to the bullpen before the first inning.
8. Kyle Farnsworth driving up to Yankee Stadium before the game.
9. Kyle Farnsworth pretty much doing anything other than brawling with Paul Wilson.
10. Kei Igawa.

Dodgers @ Mets

8:00 Before we even see the guys in the booth, I hear Jon Miller, so I’m immediately wary of who is going to respond when…yes, it’s Joe Morgan. I’m already depressed.

8:03 Joe Torre looks stoic, emotionless, half-asleep. Good to know he hasn’t changed.

8:09 Joe (Morgan…crap, this could get confusing) just claimed that it’s ok that Santana hasn’t been Cy Young-caliber thus far, because he’s just been winning games, and evidently the point of the game is to win. Good thing we didn’t start a drinking game to Morganisms because we’d be starting early and I have to work tomorrow.

8:10 Jersey Matt just pointed out that Matt Kemp is not white, and we are all surprised.

8:12 I am happy to see that the Yankees aren’t the only team this season with supersized, ugly patches on their uniforms that are commemorating their doomed stadium: the Mets have one too.

8:15 Thirty seconds after Jersey Matt and I finish going over the Jeff Kent-Ryan Thompson-David Cone trade, Jon Miller decided to mention it as Kent strikes out. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +1.

8:18 Joe Torre looks like he wants to kill Matt Kemp for getting picked off and having a 0% chance of outrunning Jose Reyes in a rundown. Or he looks like he doesn’t care. Either one.

8:27 Why does Jon Miller feel the need to call players safe and out the same way an umpire would? I don’t mean just making the call, but the cadence. Jose Reyes was just safe by at least 900 feet at home, and Jon had to yell “HAFE!” or whatever the hell he said to let us know that Reyes was safe. By the way, you’re announcing this game on TV, Jon. We can see too.

8:32 The girl in the Planters cashews commercial makes me want to throw up a little.

8:37 Jersey Matt just said it perfectly: “Did you hear that sucking sound just now? That was the ESPN announcers’ lips on the Red Sox’ asses. You can hear it in stereo!”

8:51 Lou Piniella’s recognition in that commercial of his reputation of his temper and penchant for getting thrown out of games completely takes away for me the legitimacy of his in-game tantrums. Who knew that you could sell out on your tantrums?

8:59 Jon Miller just reminded us of the Mets’ historic collapse last year. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +2

9:00 David Wright tells us that if the Mets stop losing and start winning, and win enough, they could win a championship. He’s from Norfolk, Virginia.

9:01 Jersey Matt wonders why Willie Randolph apparently spends all the time and energy on growing a dirty porno moustache when he should be spending it on managing. In the mean time, Joe Torre looks please with Willie’s lack of emotion. Teacher and student.

9:18 Ryan Church homered to score the fifth Mets run this inning, so the Jersey Matt blood pressure counter is back to zero. However, Jersey Matt is keeping score and is going to be upset if the Mets bat around and it messes up his scorecard. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +1

9:19 The Dodgers are intentionally walking Chavez to complete the bat around. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +2

9:20 No one has gone out to talk to the Dodgers pitcher. Ah, there goes Joe. Only after 5 runs and an IBB.

9:26 Peter Gammons’ in-game reports have become narrations to graphic novels. Why?

9:42 Jon Miller just declared, before interviewing Willie Randolph, that the Mets, with a win tonight, are going to make it 3 out of 4 games against…the Mets. This was 5 minutes after I was lazy and didn’t report that Joe Morgan clarified for us that Joe Torre had won a batting title when he was a player. As opposed to when we was a manager, or maybe when he was out of baseball altogether, which is when some people win batting titles. I won a Cy Young yesterday when I was drinking at noon and watching The Sopranos.

10:48 Santana was chased in the 8^th, and now the Dodgers have the bases loaded with 2 outs, and Schoeneweis is pitching for the Mets. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +4

10:49 Schoeneweis remembers where the strike zone is and gets out of the inning. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +3

10:56 “It’s good to be a Red Sox in this day and age.” The statement doesn’t bother me so much as the grammar.

11:05 Mets win, 6-1. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +1, because the Mets are still a .615 team playing .500.

Running Diary: Yankees @ Indians

6:58 Minutes until game time. We’re venturing into unchartered territory before, as this is my first running diary. I’m not sure if I was supposed to plan this out or what. I just wolfed down some food but am by no means full. Am I allowed to get up during the game? I suppose I could pause the game, go get more food, and come back and unpause. What do I do when a possibly drunk Arkansas Megan stumbles through the door? What if the phone rings? Why is Mike Greenberg on Sportscenter? I hate that guy.

7:02 Shulman, Hershiser, and Phillips in the booth tonight. I like Hershiser alright…at least we’re spared Miller and Morgan.

7:03 I’m already 30 seconds behind live as I had to rewind to see how to spell “Shulman.” Great start. I have a feeling this could be exhausting. I probably should have poured a drink. Damn.

7:06 Progressive Field, not The Jake, in Cleveland. That’s a shame.

7:07 Posada out of the Yankees lineup for the first time since 1996. On the ESPN ticker on the bottom of the screen where it usually says “MLB” or “NBA”, it just said “Clemens” to deliver the news of his alleged affair with that country singer whom I had to look up to discover that she at one time was famous for getting arrested a lot. I wish Clemens would go away.

7:08 Pitching for Cleveland is Aaron Laffey, who has never faced the Yankees. He was just called up from AAA Buffalo. Do the Yankees still scare young guys just by virtue of being the Yankees? I’m not so sure. Maybe that leadoff walk of Melky was indicative of something. Maybe Laffey is just freaking cold because it’s like 45 degrees there.

7:11 Jeter reaches on error. Shulman said it was scored as “a fielder’s choice, E4.” What?

7:13 “Subpoenaed” is an awkward looking word.

7:13 A-Rod pops up with men on the corners. The Yankees have been atrocious so far this year with RISP.

7:14 I’m not going to recount every at bat, don’t worry. I think I’m just excited and/or nervous and/or a blogging phenom, but that last one remains to be seen.

7:15 Typical of the Yankees this year. It looked like Giambi crushed that ball and it just sort of died in right center and was caught for the third out. I can only hope that once the weather warms up that the Yankee bats will do the same. And that Giambi will at least get up to the Mendoza line, which would currently be nearly double his average. Yes, double.

7:18 Moose pitching for the Yankees. The last time I watched him pitch, Manny Ramirez made Moose’s whole week, if you know what I mean. (He’s had at least one real quality start since.)

7:22 People who sit behind home plate and are constantly on their cell phones and waving at the camera should be prosecuted as terrorists.

7:23 I’ve quickly noticed a huge advantage to this running diary thing. I’m paying attention to only my thoughts and what is going on on the field; I rarely if ever am listening to the dummies in the booth!

7:26 Jack Daniel’s commercial…damn the power of advertising. Be right back.

7:30 I went to the kitchen to get my drink and everything went wrong. The dishwasher started to (and continues to make) some seriously threatening noises and a bunch of ice fell out of the freezer. I missed the whole half inning, save for some quick glances and listening to the play-by-play. Laffey must have thrown what, 5 pitches? Way to be patient, hitters.

7:35 Two things that I love that don’t go well when consumed at the same time: avocado and whiskey. I know, you’re surprised too.

7:36 Jeter just reached a grounder but couldn’t make the throw. Sabermetricians love to bash on Jeter, and I’m well aware that it’s partly because it’s Jeter and Sabermetricians love to show how their stats and graphs buck conventional wisdom so Jeter is a perfect subject. That being said, I do agree that he’s overrated in the field. But I also don’t think he’s as horrific as the Saber guys would have you believe. Speaking of Jeter, this always makes me laugh.

7:44 One of the dummies just pointed out that Casey Blake shares the record for putouts in an inning: 3. Is this really necessary to point out that he shares a record with hundreds if not thousands of other players?

7:46 Whoa. Just went to baseball-reference to find some Steve Phillips stats to make fun of, and they’ve redone their search. Results now come up in a wiki. Weird. Also, BR lists Al Leiter as a New York Met “franchise player.” Really?

7:48 Indians batting. Right on cue, E6. Ugh.

7:50 Hershiser retired with 204 wins and an ERA+ of 112, 25 SHO, and 2014 Ks. Not bad at all. I don’t recall ever seeing him pitch. He was only in the AL for 3 years, only one of which I was living in the country. If only we had a time during the season in which fans of AL teams could have the opportunity to see NL players matched up against their favorite…just kidding. I hate interleague play and don’t you forget it.

7:51 While I was harping, another ball (hit) got by Jeter. I don’t believe in jinxes.

7:58 I can’t believe people get paid to do this.

7:59 Approximately the 47^th pitch of this at bat coming up. Mussina won’t last 5 at this rate.

8:00 There we go. Moose pitched out of a small jam there. He makes me nervous this year, and I feel bad. I feel like I’m letting a friend down. He had a rough year last year and a terrible spring. He’s getting old. He routinely gets whupped by Boston. I’m pulling for him but this year is definitely his swan song. By the way, the story behind the saying “swan song” is surprisingly half-interesting.

8:04 Someone just mentioned how Jeter, assuming he remains healthy, will race by 3,000 hits and will have a legitimate shot at 4,000. It’s going to be so weird watching him DH as I assume he will near the end.

8:05 Among other boggling stats, A-Rod has 10 straight 30 HR seasons.

8:11 On the ESPN ticker…”NBA Alert…Giants will move P Barry Zito to bullpen.”…some intern just got fired.

8:16 Jhonny Peralta…was that on purpose or did his parents make a mistake? I honestly wonder without judgment. Believe it or not.

8:19 Those people behind home plate are STILL waving, Jose Molina is slower than molasses, and potentially drunk Arkansas Megan’s drunkenness is currently incalculable through text messages.

8:27 Cano just got hit in the back, which seems to be the only way the Yankees will get on base tonight. Still no hits on Laffey.

8:31 Drudge is relaying an article that a couple “experts” are predicting that gas will reach $10 a gallon this summer. They base this on a projection that oil will reach $200 in the next two to three years. Well I think oil will reach $6,000 a barrel and gas will be $194.50 a gallon. There are roughly a bzillion factors that go into those prices and these so-called experts can’t make any better projections than you or I can.

8:34 Giambi totally blew that pick-off.

8:34 In the same article I reference above comes this quote: “There was a pray-in at a Chevron station in San Francisco on Friday led by a minister asking God for cheaper gas.” I don’t even know what to say about that. That is a factor that I did not include in my estimate of a bzillion.

8:35 Back to back hits on Moose. This is a typical 5^th inning for him this year. He’s pitched pretty well so far though so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt here.

8:36 Jose Molina has 9 stolen bases in his career. The brothers Molina have a combined 16 stolen bases in a combined 25 years of major league baseball.

8:39 First run of the game goes to Cleveland. Two on, no out. I think Moose lets things affect him much more psychologically than he used to. I don’t have a good feeling about getting out of this inning without letting any more runs in.

8:40 Clemens’ agent’s name is Rusty Hardin. Potential stage name?

8:41 Another hit, bases loaded, no outs. The Moose is shaken, and he should be. Cleveland didn’t beat the Yankees and reach the ALCS last year for nothin’. Bullpen is alive.

8:42 Jonathan Jessica Albaladejo is warming up. One down in the meantime. Hafner up. He’s tied for the MLB record for grand slams in a season, with 6 in 2006. (Tied with Mattingly, 1987)

8:45 Hafner sac fly, another run in. It was an obvious out and not out of the park and yet I didn’t see the Cleveland fans jump out of their seats and scream wildly as if the bases were about to be cleared. Philly fans, take note.

8:48 If Mussina gets out of this down 2-0, he will have done a great job…as he loads the bases again with a walk. Still, he’ll have gotten out relatively unharmed, given the potential for the New York bats. Albaladejo still comes in in the 6^th, I think.

8:50 Lineout to Jeter. Not bad, Moose.

8:51 Kevin Kouzmanoff, currently with the Padres, was with Cleveland in 2006 when he hit a grand slam on the first pitch he ever saw in the majors.

8:53 First hit of the night for the Yankees comes from Melky. Say what you want about the Yankees’ mediocrity so far this year, but no-hitting them through 5 is still a feat for the youngin Laffey.

8:54 Jeter caught a break there but it was a makeable play by Blake. Score is a hit.

8:56 Abreu loads the bases with a line drive to left. No outs. I wish the Yankees would consider hitting like this earlier in games, before they’ve fallen behind. I’ll take what I can get.

8:57 A-Rod is .350 with 16 homers with the bases loaded in his career. The guy is not as bad with RISP as people would have you believe.

8:58 He also is good at getting hit by the ball. 2-1, Cleveland.

9:00 A-Rod has been hit 128 times in his career…what else do you expect me to do when the Indians meet at the mound?

9:01 Giambi RBI groundout ties the game. He’s good for something, I guess.

9:02 Matsui RBI groundout, Yankees up 3-2. Ah, a base hit or two would have been nice. Laffey is done.

9:05 Hershiser was kind to call Ensberg’s squib a “chopper” as somehow everyone is safe and another run comes in. 4-2, Yankees.

9:07 Cleveland finally gets out of the inning as Cano grounds out. I am currently very unsure as to whether Mussina comes back. I say yes, for a hit or two. The bullpen has been worn out lately.

9:08 I need to meet Arkansas Megan at the occasionally exceptionally shady metro stop in about 15 minutes. I’m not sure what’s going to happen when we get back as I can still not ascertain the exact level of drunkenness. Such are the natural risks of blogging, I suppose.

9:10 Moose in fact did not return. Albaladejo and his career 206 ERA+ take the mound. (Alright, 22 career IP.) I’m just glad I can consistently say his name correctly. Former National, by the way. It’s a wonder he’s not with the Mets, as every other former National seemingly is. I’m sure there’s no connection between that fact and the Mets’ current state.

9:15 Kyle Farnsworth is warming up. I’m suddenly very uncomfortable. (For a similar scenario, see: Jersey Matt when Jorge Sosa is warming up. Scratch that; any member of the Mets bullpen that isn’t Joe Smith or Pedro Feliciano. Maybe Figueroa if he hasn’t been drinking at all. Or maybe only if he has been drinking heavily. I’m not sure.) (That would be Jersey Matt drinking or not drinking, not Figueroa.)

9:18 In the meantime, the Indians have runners on the corners and 2 outs.

9:20 The dummies are discussing how to pronounce “Albaladejo”. They clearly were not trained by Michael Kay, as I was.

9:21 K for the last out. Nice pitching.

9:23 Metro time. Game paused. Love DVR.

9:39 Back, beat the buffer. Excellent.

9:42 Superb catch by RF Jason Michaels to rob Jeter of a hit. Web gem.

9:43 Just accidentally fast forwarded through a whole non-commercial segment. I don’t know what happened. Don’t want to risk that again so I’m going to just go forward slowly…

9:45 Well I just totally screwed that up and I’m back on live and missed everything that had recorded. Top 8, 2 out, Matsui up, still 4-2 Yankees. Apparently I didn’t miss much.

9:46 Matsui snuck a hit to the wall for an RBI 2B, Damon scores. 5-2. I can’t believe Matsui is younger than Jeter. Pitching change for Indians.

9:49 Morgan Ensberg is up. Read his guest appearance on Phil Hughes’ blog.

9:51 Ensberg pops up, Joba should be out next.

9:54 I wish Joba would bend his hat’s brim. Just a little.

9:55 Hershiser made a great point about a pitcher being able to deliberately slow a game down immensely, in reference to Joba and the bugs in last year’s ALDS in Cleveland. Young guy trying to tough it out, I think. Either that or he was a rookie in a real tough spot in the playoffs and he wasn’t thinking straight, which is totally understandable.

9:58 Joba gets out without any damage.

10:00 Surprisingly sober Arkansas Megan just asked a very valid question: How many times have they shown that Baseball Tonight guys at the Bobby Thompson game commercial tonight? Sadly, I do not know. But it’s been many.

10:01 They just showed a Rick Ankiel highlight, which immediately prompted someone to mention what a great story Ankiel’s is. Have we forgotten that the guy was found to have used HGH? Why was it such a big deal but suddenly we’ve forgotten? For some reason I still don’t mind it nearly as much as announcers’ constant fawning over Shawne Merriman and never ever mentioning his steroid suspension.

10:03 8-9-1 for Rivera in the bottom of the 9^th after the break. He hasn’t given up a walk this season.

10:05 Shulman just stole my stat, only I think he said that Mo hasn’t given up a hit either, which is not true.

10:06 One out. Mussina is in line for the win, by the way.

10:07 Damn you, Shulman! How do I get to be the guy who slips the dummies all their stats?

10:09 Those uniform patches commemorating the Stadium’s last season are way too big.

10:10 Flyout to Abreu, two down.

10:11 Baseball-reference lists Rivera’s current ERA+ as “infinite”

10:11 Game over, Yankees 5 – Cleveland 2. Mussina gets the win, Mo the save. A successful first running diary? Comments and self-criticism tomorrow will tell.