8:03 Joe Torre looks stoic, emotionless, half-asleep. Good to know he hasn’t changed.
8:09 Joe (Morgan…crap, this could get confusing) just claimed that it’s ok that Santana hasn’t been Cy Young-caliber thus far, because he’s just been winning games, and evidently the point of the game is to win. Good thing we didn’t start a drinking game to Morganisms because we’d be starting early and I have to work tomorrow.
8:10 Jersey Matt just pointed out that Matt Kemp is not white, and we are all surprised.
8:12 I am happy to see that the Yankees aren’t the only team this season with supersized, ugly patches on their uniforms that are commemorating their doomed stadium: the Mets have one too.
8:15 Thirty seconds after Jersey Matt and I finish going over the Jeff Kent-Ryan Thompson-David Cone trade, Jon Miller decided to mention it as Kent strikes out. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +1.
8:18 Joe Torre looks like he wants to kill Matt Kemp for getting picked off and having a 0% chance of outrunning Jose Reyes in a rundown. Or he looks like he doesn’t care. Either one.
8:27 Why does Jon Miller feel the need to call players safe and out the same way an umpire would? I don’t mean just making the call, but the cadence. Jose Reyes was just safe by at least 900 feet at home, and Jon had to yell “HAFE!” or whatever the hell he said to let us know that Reyes was safe. By the way, you’re announcing this game on TV, Jon. We can see too.
8:32 The girl in the Planters cashews commercial makes me want to throw up a little.
8:51 Lou Piniella’s recognition in that commercial of his reputation of his temper and penchant for getting thrown out of games completely takes away for me the legitimacy of his in-game tantrums. Who knew that you could sell out on your tantrums?
8:59 Jon Miller just reminded us of the Mets’ historic collapse last year. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +2
9:00 David Wright tells us that if the Mets stop losing and start winning, and win enough, they could win a championship. He’s from Norfolk, Virginia.
9:01 Jersey Matt wonders why Willie Randolph apparently spends all the time and energy on growing a dirty porno moustache when he should be spending it on managing. In the mean time, Joe Torre looks please with Willie’s lack of emotion. Teacher and student.
9:18 Ryan Church homered to score the fifth Mets run this inning, so the Jersey Matt blood pressure counter is back to zero. However, Jersey Matt is keeping score and is going to be upset if the Mets bat around and it messes up his scorecard. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +1
9:19 The Dodgers are intentionally walking Chavez to complete the bat around. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +2
9:20 No one has gone out to talk to the Dodgers pitcher. Ah, there goes Joe. Only after 5 runs and an IBB.
9:26 Peter Gammons’ in-game reports have become narrations to graphic novels. Why?
9:42 Jon Miller just declared, before interviewing Willie Randolph, that the Mets, with a win tonight, are going to make it 3 out of 4 games against…the Mets. This was 5 minutes after I was lazy and didn’t report that Joe Morgan clarified for us that Joe Torre had won a batting title when he was a player. As opposed to when we was a manager, or maybe when he was out of baseball altogether, which is when some people win batting titles. I won a Cy Young yesterday when I was drinking at noon and watching The Sopranos.
10:48 Santana was chased in the 8th, and now the Dodgers have the bases loaded with 2 outs, and Schoeneweis is pitching for the Mets. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +4
10:49 Schoeneweis remembers where the strike zone is and gets out of the inning. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +3
10:56 “It’s good to be a Red Sox in this day and age.” The statement doesn’t bother me so much as the grammar.
11:05 Mets win, 6-1. Jersey Matt blood pressure counter: +1, because the Mets are still a .615 team playing .500.
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